HAPPY BIRTHDAY NARESH .....

well today was the day..around 23 years ago tht this guy naresh was born.......on his birthday here i try to pay a tribute to him and our friendship.....hope u got the hint tht today is his b'day and iam gonna praise him to the core.....hehe...

frankly speaking i just need a occasion to praise him.....wht better one than his birthday.........

i remember our first meetin..it was in year 1998....here was a guy..with a tilak in his fore head...and he used utter "jesus" for any profanity in the boys lingo...i thought " wht a queer guy"...looks like a lost one....

and in a few days we were like pullin each others leg very often....so much so tht people thought we had some sort of " rayalseema rivalry" between us...but soon we developed a sort of bondin ..quite unconsciously...........we discovered tht we had matchin tastes in most of things which could keep us together like movies, studies..and contrastingly different tastes in things tht cud separate us...like girls...( we liked exactly opposite kind of gals..hehe)......

and we were fortunate enough to be in same class even in engg..and our friendship blossomed more and more.....of course stayin with him resulted in me being popular atleast as " tht guy who roams around with naresh"......

this guy with his tall dark and handsome looks.... had a large legion of fans among gals..so much so that he did not even realise it....

and i frankly thought that he would never fall in love...i mean with kind of gal he had in mind as his "dream gal"...i thought such gals cud be developed as special effect in computers.....but luckily for him..he was in love and happy...hope he stays that way.......

i have always wondered how cud a guy be so very gud so very perfect ..with out any blemishes, faults...or shortcomings..he always amazed me to that extent......no well meaning person could get angry with him......always helpful, always doin the right thing....

looks like this is gettin longer...but iam never short of words when praisin this fella.....

the best gift i cud give him for his birthday is HE himself...cos there is no better thing in this world than him.......

since he already has it..the next best thing i could do is tell him that HE is the best.....

Happy birthday naresh...may u have all that u desire and all tht u aspire....

lemme have ur friendship......

the beach.............

why dont we have a beach in delhi... i miss it so much..............

the best thing about the beach it is free....hehe....it was one place u could hang out without burnin a hole in ur pockets...............

U cud feel the solitude ...inspite of all the crowds..u can sit and watch the waves....it is as if..it is u and the waves.......there was something about those waves which made me a touch philosophical...makin me to zoom into one of those retrospective moods......playin with the waves was another fun activity..................

ofcourse me and my friend always used to lament that we could not hang out with gal friends in the beach....well he has moved on in his life ...and as for me it has remained an unfulfilled wish.... no probs..... it is a long life.....

ofcourse u had those groundnuts and muri mixtures...and other sea delicacies to go with it...................

well my friends if you ever get into a place on the coastline dont ever miss THE BEACH...............

Happy......

hey this song from the film happy is quite infectious......quite a peppy tune.....well today my mood quite reflects it......

hmm........ i did not do anything big or worthwhile today to explain it......watched 3 movies today...along with cricket telecast.........time pass stuff...but definitely not a worthwhile pastime....

why am i happy???????????.....cant explain it...so many little things.....combine to make me happy.....a feel good mood...........as i goto bed a HAPPY man.......

Missin Gitam..............

Iam missin gitam………very much……… iam missin all my frenzzz….especially the days spent at gitam……even if
i meet all my frenz can we relive those days………iam missin the times spent on the
stairs of library, in the canteen , in sairam parlour, those cricket
matches in the ground….those parties at our canteens and foodex…..i
miss them all ……… the walks we used to take in between studying……..the
bus rides…..the 8 o clockbus……e learning centre…those long chats..after bunkin classes...movies with friends....…….i miss them all……I miss
the people……… …I have moved into an busy life……….i have lots to do…I
enjoy myself here….this place has its own maza but I miss gitam…….i
feel like cryin when iam writin this…..i feel like goin back 2 those
days……..but u know we cant …time moves….i don't know if I will meet all my friends ever again in life………..even if I meet them will it again be the
same………….i don't know…….

Lazigar.......

This is cool..life has become such a free bizz...nothin much to..nothin really to slog...but this is real dangerous...iam getting used to this sort of lazing around....

and iam becoming very lazy..once u get used to be vetti ..or vela...as they call it..it is real difficult to come out of that thing...inertia of rest ......as it can be called ...is very difficult to overcome...

hope i dont get enslaved to it.....

well on one side iam longin for something exciting to do...whereas on the other side..iam really lazy to go and search for it.....wht a paradox......

I have become a LAZIGAAR....:D

Rang De Basanti......

well a nice movie after a real long time..a movie which made me laugh , think, feel and fret all at the same time............

thankfully this movie did not preach, it wanted to put a message across.......which it does effectively....

but wht do we do with the message....everyone as long as they see the movie, they seem to agree with it...but everyone goes home and forgets it..life goes as usual............

then is there no solution for all this????....will things remain the same and go even bad.........

well only solution is from the common man..the common man which is me...which is you..which is everyone...no one can do anything big...no one can actually do it..no one needs to..it is the small things which we should start.....a small step which would be the beginning of a long journey...

but who is putting the first step across??????who is starting it all????????????

Positivism???

Well here I am a great believer of positivism...question it...doubtin it...sounds strange.....

but i had had this nagging doubt..here iam takin pleasure in small joys....small signs of encouragement, small rays of hope............but does this really work....

When reality stares me in the face...can i take it...can i accept it......Is this positivism a miracle drug??..or a narcotic which is gettin onto my veins..which will leave me in despair..the day it is snatched away from me???????

Only time will answer...................

MY DOUBT?????

Well i have had this doubt...what is there to be excited about a marriage...well to be more specific arranged marriages.....well guys ...they r a species which seems to be excited about anything remotely female..leave them...wht about the gals????..

i mean i have seen gals gettin so very paranoidically excited about getting married... u see there is this guy whom they did not know tht he existed on this planet about some time ago...and now they are hopping excitedly about getting married to them...and in most of the cases ..we do not have any handsome greek god waiting out there...to give a plausible explanation for my doubt............but mostly its a pot bellied doctor( aNRI who has made money in dollars) or a balding software geek.......

whts there to get excited....u people are gonna get married and lose whatever freedom u had..take on new burdens, new responsibilities....and new troubles..u have a mother-in - law waiting for u.........

WHT THE #%^@$ IS THERE TO GET EXCITED ABOUT???????

Train Journey......

Well then i had a 36 hour train journey...............and to top it all i was in a mood when solitude seemed like a boon......combined with co passengers who seemed to be discussing the most mundane topics i could ever fathom.......

so here i was thinking and thinking of things ranging from sports to relations, space to microbial...and as ofcourse i was bored in no time....well with so much thought process flowing all i wanted was a computer with a net connection so that i would blog away to glory...hehe and tht was out of question.............

well i cant even remember most of those things now......but tht ordeal of spending 36 hours of a train journey .....well tht does not seem to be the last one.....i have many more journeys to make.........

let me start puttin my thoughts as they come to me..in the next few posts..........

Whts happening??????

Life has been a breeze ......nothin much to do..nothin much to achieve,...time seems to be standing still.....

2006 has just began..a new year , new hopes , new aspirations.............everything new....but nothin seems to have changed...................

Last few days have seen my mood wander into extremes.....what all can have when u have time to think...mind is very fast ..it keeps taking you into different realms, different possibilities, different aspects, different moods, so much so that u begin to live there, firmly entrenched there..............

this post may seem to be in random, thts how it has been............random thoughts, random ideas, random possibilities..thts been life......

let me put last few days in perspective..........it was all wonderful at home..doting parents...friends to have fun with....places i loved...food i relished..etcetc.....then I started for delhi...back to college....to finish off my final sem...determined to have the final dose of fun..before i get onto the altar of job...sloggin away to be in the rat race........................

well rest in next post.............................

New Year.....

Aah the new year has arrived….well the celebrations and all the hullabaloo has happened as usual….people sending their wishes ..clogged mobile networks, cards, greetings and all the reviews of movies, news, sports have all happened. Now life gets back to usual and back to work on a Monday morning.

Now just wait and retrospect on the year that’s gone by. On a personal front another tumultuous year has passed by. What a wide range of emotions have I gone through? From the despairs of February to festivities of December what a journey it has been. Well I would classify this year as a good one for as they say “ alls well that ends well”. Well this a very good time for me and it would quite justify the rating.

But more than that I will put this down as a landmark year for the lessons it has taught me. I definitely finish this year as a much better and mature person than what I was when it began. I have learnt to take life as it comes. I have stopped expecting things to happen. I have learnt to place myself into the shoes of other person and think from their position. Though I have not perfected this I have made an attempt and this has given me quite a good deal of better results when dealing with people.

What else will I remember this year for??? I can remember this for a lot of small joys which have come through, which on the whole may not make a sense for their significance in life. But on their own they form a special place. Little joys, little gestures, little delights especially which happen when least expected which can leave you exhilarated.

I can also remember this year for some of the knocks which I have taken. Times when I was very disturbed, when I was confused, when I had no idea what I had to. Though these are times which I would like to forget in retrospective, but I don’t want to lose the lesson which was hidden at those moments, the lesson to look at things positively. On retrospective we often realize how most disasters are self made. How just a different line of thinking could have changed the whole scenario? I would like to take the lesson to look at things from the positive perspective.

I am not fully into the mode of positive thinking but definitely I have come a long way. And this has made a significant difference in my life. I am a much more happier person now. And I have also come firmly to believe that god has his own way of doing things. Another offshoot of positive thinking. I have realized there is no use complaining. Expecting life to be fair to you is like expecting a ravaging bull to spare you because you are a vegetarian. So just accept things as they come, it would make sense in the retrospective.

As for people as usual many people come in and go out of your life with every passing year. But some do stay, they do stay in your conscience whatever happens. It is for them that we struggle. But time and tide waits for none. People move away in the flow of time. Different lives take different turns. Every one has his own road to follow. Roads which will part as they go. If two people have to stay together it has to be on the same road which wont happen without competition and clash, which again does not help the cause of companionship. So I have learnt to accept this fact of life. As people get busy with their own lives, aspirations and dreams, old friends do take a backseat. But u really can’t complain. Life is like that. And u got to accept this harsh reality and life has to go on. Even we our self may be guilty of doing so with out we realizing it. So u got to learn to live with it.

But some things do stay stuck. You wish some things to stay forever. You want some things to happen. You know the possibilities are very less. You know the odds are stacked up against it. But still some where, appears a beacon of hope, even though it is hopeless. This endeavor to hope for something impossible has perhaps defined spirit of mankind. This is perhaps what has brought humanity to this juncture. This struggle between practicality and wishful thinking is what defines our lives. Where we shall draw a line is something that will determine our state of mind.

So that is my new year resolution take life as it comes. Enjoy every moment of life. Plan your life as it happens. But if there is still something that defines your happiness, go for it. However impossible it may seem, however unthinkable it may be. Life’s beauty is in that struggle. Enjoyment is in the journey, destination is just the culmination.

So I continue to search for the end to my search for The Beginning.

blasting dreams..............

there are moments in ur life when u r plagued by questions...questions questions and more questions..... no answers seem to be in sight.......i was in a similar situation when the blasts rocked the life in delhi and conciousness of the nation.......it feels odd just a second ago the people who were shoppin for the festivals lay lifeless wit their bodies charred beyond recognition...all those lives were just a number in the newspapers the next day...people did not seem to care......life for all vibrancy seems so very fragile.....just a few ounces of rdx...and a few thousands of dreams are destroyed...........where is the end to it all....who causes all this...who benefits from this....too many questions but answers elude me...............let this stop ........let this mindlessness cease...........but how?????...who can do it............there is no one answer to it.........let us start by contributing our own bits....drops make up the ocean...however long the journey it starts with a footstep.....lets contrubute our might to stop violence......stop this hatred....lets grow more tolerant of life....life in its varied hues......lets enjoy the diversity and forget the differences............

oops baby... i did it again........

Babies are the cutest and most beautiful things in the universe. The way they smile, the way they pout, the way they cry, the way they sleep, the way they seem disturbed out of their world even if some little fly swats over them…everything they do is so beautiful. They seem so very delicate, so very fragile, I just wonder how will they cope up against this big bad world. The just born ones are the most amazing. They r so cute, so small, so very soft and so very delicate. Putting their legs on to my cheeks so very nice. U feel the freshness of birth. Those hands as they hold them up crumpled. Those are some of the sweetest sights in the world.

those new born kids seem so precious.I feel afraid to hold them even. I am afraid if I would hurt them. they are so very precious delicate and fragile. human life at its very beginning. anyone would have to fall in love with this babies.

My love is like falling in love with a new born baby. This kind of love does not come with any strings attached.it does not contain any amorous conquests. this is just admiration at its pristine best. It is all about caring. It is about being afraid to hurt a delicate being. It is not about expecting the baby to love you back but u just love the baby nevertheless. you r just in awe of it. you just love it when the baby smiles. you are worried to death when the baby cries. you would do anything to make the baby smile, though most of the times u r all at sea in this pursuit. u just are afraid to do anything because u r afraid of hurtin that delicate creature. everything about the baby seems divinely. this kind of love makes u happy and content. this is love of a new life, a new beginning and lot of hopes and aspirations.

this love could be exhilirating but no one does realise it. because we take it for granted. but smtimes when we stop and think about it. we do realise how lucky are we to go through such an experience. life would be fulfillin not when we r enjoyin smthin, but when we realise that we r enjoyin smthin.....because most of the times enjoyment is not in the destination, but in the journey......

dreamzzzz

hey today i watched a movie "iqbal" ..pretty nice movie...well not smthin to swoon over...but i definitely liked it....it was nice and pleasant like sea breeze....

There were these lines in the movie ..in a song...

" kuch aisa kar jao...jisse kudh kudha kush ho jaye"

wow...wht beautiful lines......doin smthin to please smone who perhaps makes us do all these things....THE ALMIGHTY....wht a wonderful thought....

This movie set me thinkin.....dreamzz.....hmmm ...this word has such a nice connotation to it....everyone likes to dream...everyone wants them to come true......well iam not exactly talkin abt the things u get when u r asleep..though u could include them in a broader context....

Iam talkin abt aims,ambitions,aspirations which we have for ourselves....we dream abt ourselves ..abt people related to us......as the protagonist in the above mentioned movie tells that his life runs after his dreams...everyones life has its own dreams...but how many of us really strive for it........most of just let our lives go on.....we take things as they come...we never wait, think and fight for our dreamz........ we go for compromises......

iam not sermonizing.....iam also guilty of the same things.......i had a dream...ofcourse i had a lot many...but there was this dream...which was quite bigger....i had wanted to be cricket player ,play for my country.......well every boy who plays cricket has the same dream....me too...i even had details of my debut, my career highlights ...and even statistics planned out....but that dream slowly faded away......i never thought about it...i never saw it goin away...i never fought for it...never practised and played............now as i realise that may be after next year i even wont be playin for fun...i feel that a part of me is bein plucked away from me......

ok leave my case...may be i was not good enough...but i have seen many talented people never go for their dreams...sm of my friends who were very good at cricket but now languishin in their jobs.....perhaps will only play cricket with their sons in future.....sm of my friends who were great dancers or singers...but left those things for comfort of sm cosy job...leave these "arty" things......one of my friend who used to say that NASA was were she is gonna land up...now a software job is a preferred destination ......NASA long forgotten in life's memory.......

but can we blame these people...are they alone responsible for their dreams not workin out......iam not sure...let us consider the movie...if the fielder had not taken the catch in the end...would the hero be able to win the match....these kind of doubts do arise....

our lives and the courses they take are dependent on many things.....there are way too many variables in our life.....and the determinants are never in our hands for most of the time.......

and most of the time for most of the people dreams are never constant....they keep changin ..wht they want from life today may not be the same tomorrow....so it is best everyone evaluates their dream...decide if it is worth fightin for....is it achievable...and the go for it....

becos...their is no better feelin in ur life than to see ur dreams come true..............

Friends and fun......

i had a experience today which made me realise the importance of friends and fun in life.....

Today was a very different sort of day from the past few days…nothing significant happened….just a few hours ago I was in a rotten state of mind …very depressed…I don’t why…a few happenings in the day left me with varied interpretations…...it was just I was left alone…because exams were nearing and everyone was busy with his own troubles. …bein left alone I just went into a cyclical thought process…...thinkin abt a few things which left me hopeless and it didn’t help anyways…because it just left me mad…..just when I was goin berserk….i just called upon my friend…and after some chattin I was feelin better again then a few friends gathered and it was back to banter…and masti …we were just jokin and it was a laugh riot again……….and I was again soarin……….. forgettin all the downturns I was thinking abt…………wow this is great…

I relaise the importance of friends in ones life….without them u just are lost……especially when u r down and out……whts life with out them….and I need ppl with lots of sense of humour…ppl ready for masti and fun…………that’s wht life is abt….when u r serious and broodin it just is not any useful….u need to laugh , have fun and enjoy life…..

As smone said live everyday as if it is ur last day….and one day u will be rt………….

Why waste life thinking and feelin sad abt things that may not become any better just by ur thinking or feelin abt it……just forget ur worries…have fun…..keep urself engaged in work fun and life……that’s leaves no time for broodin…..just keeping urself busy will be the best way to get ahead in life….

Live every moment of ur life ..never waste time thinking abt things that wont get any better just by ur thinking…..lets use our thinking for better things…..this is wht i have realised today..and hope to implement and follow......

funny..........

LOVE is like a CIGAR

It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in
ashes...

But dont worry - we are chain smokers


hope everyone can do this.......

solutions can be as simple as this....

True love is like a pillow
>u can hug when u r in trouble
>u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow

my dil goes mmmmmmmmmmmm........

well the title of this blog is lifted from a very nice song...apart from some very nice music ...this song has sm very good lyrics.........this song reflects on the fact that no one is perfect and u cud also fall in love with imperfections..........well that seemed very beautiful........... smone lovin ur imperfections.........it sounds very odd but it cud be true............and very nice........cos if smone cud love my imperfections i have a wide range to offer.......................

ok as for rest of the things......................well weekends i just luv themmmmmmmm......well i do hate the fact that they r so short....but got to take it as it is.....i had a pretty nice ....got up late ...nothin new or unusual abt it......then went to a pic ...got myself a set of new speakers for my comp......in between all this raced on a bike through a distance which takes half an hour or more in 15 mins...also got stuck in a traffic jam which made me take 45 mins for a 10 min journey..... everythin sort of evened out......anycase in between all this forgot to have food....so by night was terribly hungry.................so we all landed up at andhra bhavan....and i enjoyed dinner...u obviously do when u r so hungry..................

by the time we finished our dinner smone broached the topic of whether possessiveness in love is justified.....arguments were flyin to and forth on both sides....young boys like asif sayin that possessiveness had no place in love...whereas our married man raghav arguing that it was natural to have possesiveness in love...in between all this i was sittin calmly just listenin...partly because i was hungrily devourin the food...but also partly because i was just evaluatin the arguments and lettin them register their points in my mind....and formin my own little judgements............

well is really possessiveness justified in love...................well is nt love supposed to be without any expectations............then how can u expect smone to be with u alone.....and luv u alone and all thos e sort of things............but again.....dont u fall in love because u expect sm joy out of it.........and u want lot more of that love....want all that love for urself...............

well one of my friend had this favourite quote..." if u really luv smthin just let it go...if it comes back to u it is urs...otherwise it never was"....i used to retort that it was ok to follow that policy for parrots...but when it comes to the case of gals ..it is quite risky ..considerin the competition.......

but on a serious note is that not true......just lettin it go......love them with out expectin anythin.....just love them and enjoy the feelin........but do u notice the paradox...even though that quote seems to say...dont be possesive in love...look at it carefully ...it talks of smone bein "urs"....possesiveness at work.........

ok man too much of love related discussion...gettin tired of it...........but wht shall i do...........whtever u do...this love keeps comin at u...go watch a movie...u get a staple diet of hero heroine romance............look at the bill boards.....same things...come talk with ur friends.......wherever u start discussion smwhere turns back to that...why cant we just forget that stuff ...and get on with our lives...............well i will try to.............still got a weekend to enjoy..........got to get thru it.........with lots of fun.................

whats this???????????

hey ...........

today i woke up from a terrible dream.........i had got married...i dont who was the gal.....everyone was congratulatin me............i had this thought that ........i cant look at other gals from that day...and i have a lady waitin ...whom i have to answer............i woke up sweatin....and it was quite a relief to know it was just a dream.......................

anycase this has got me thinkin whts that frightens me most in that..............well life is so cool now.....iam left to myself.....masti karo enjoy karo.................u dont have to be answerable to anyone...............

today was a similarly happy day....enjoyed myself all the day...had a few classes in the mornin then ..............played cricket....chatted with friends....jokes flew around ...we were laughin all the time.....the a game of cards....fun continued....................

but at the end of the day..........one of my friends brought up a topic about things which make me go senti.......... and i was again broodin over it................well i realise their is no pt in it...........when u can have fun ...and forget the troubles...wht is pt worryin over it..............why not just enjoy life.....

but why do people dont want to keep laughin all the time....why cant they just smile through their troubles....and be happy...why is it that at times...u just want to cry ...cry out aloud......pour out ur grief.....................who wants to be unhappy...and who wants to bear unhappy people........but again...life is not a bed of roses....but why concentrate on the thorns....why is it that feel ofroses is soon forgotten...but prick of thorn and resultant pain remains for a longer time................happy times just pass with out u noticin it...but sad happenins stay to haunt u............today lots of questions are hauntin me....answers elude me...answers which work for me are not necessarily true for smone else.....i realise the only solution is forget it and goto sleep....iam feelin very sleepy in any case................so here iam signin off......

hope i dont get terrible dreams...i just want sm sweet dreams..............hmm i just cant wait for those..........so iam dozin off........................

hope......

well smthin which never stops to amaze me is hope ....this is perhaps the factor which has kept the mankind goin.......i have realised smthin based on my very short interaction with life........whatever may i lose...iam not done until i have got hope with me.......... life makes u grow with experience...........u find that with each step u take...with each fall .......u learn a lesson....which makes u a better person............. i havee been down and out at times...in retrospective it seems such a foolish thing that i was so very depressed....but now i have realised that come what may never will i leave hope......... so whenever i get an opportunity to feel sad ....i try to stop my thoughts and focuss on the silver lining........i dont know if this is rt or not.........but i have to admit this has kept me happy..........i have been smilin..........i dont know if this is helpin me cope up better with life...that only time will tell........perhaps sm day i will see this blog and assess in retrospective the usefulness of this approach............i dont know if iam runnin away from the sad things or is it just iam able to sidestep them...but whatever it is....the pt is it has ensured i keep smilin........and this is smthin i treasure.............

wht works???????

this post has been inspired by the news abt my frenz which i have been receivin....well nothin much to celebrate......one of my friends has had a break up...well they were one of best pairs around.....another of my friends ...well he has been in love with a girl for sm yrs now.....even though she was not interested ...this guy was madly in love...and got to admit ...he was true to his feelings..........and now that girl has married smone else....he has taken the flight to destruction....... turnin to alcohol..........and sm more depressin news.........

now all this has got me thinkin abt relationships..........why do ppl keep movin in and out of them........wht keeps ppl in a relationship and wht makes them move out of it..........well if love is smthin which is meant to be a cause of happiness...why does it get so much sadness in tow........

and comin to marriages...........how many are real?...how many ppl really luv their spouses for the people they r ...and not just bcos they r their spouses...........many of these marriagesseem to be just compromises........

ok lookin for answers i felt that at the end of it.....it does not matter whether u r in a relationship or not..it just matters whether u r happy or not............even in spite of so many ppl finidn a raw deal ...ppl still fall in love ...still look out for relationships..becos they r still in that elusive search of happiness............so they keep searchin till they find it....

but do we forget the journey in search of the destination...............is nt life a journey rather than a destination...........so why dont we search for things...however small they may be...tht bring on a smile on our faces..............well ppl cringe whenever they have trouble in relationships....but is nt the fact that they have been rejected painin them more..... than the reason that a particular person has rejected them...cos if sm one loves sm one it is meant to be unconditional..cos love is unconditional by nature............but that is not the case......everyone has his /her expectations....this is where the trouble comes............

so simply puttin it......no expectations no dissapointments..............let us live life for wht it is....and take it as it comes.........let us not forget to live the present regrettin the past or fearin the future.............well it is easy to say that but quite difficult to implement it........all would have got into this stage at sm pt........everyone will learn to deal with life in due course of time.....everyone falls ....but one who gets up and gets up fast wins the race..................